insight of our brain

 over the years meditation gave me the glimpse of several things, that our brain is the source of what we are and i have two personalities, one is good side and the other is chattering mind. my mission as a human being is to exclude my chatter side of the mind and improve my good side through meditation. 

recently i read a book by Dr Jill bolte Taylor. she is a brain scientist and a stroke survivor.
she go through the details of the day of the stroke and ten years of recovery from it through her trained scientific point of view. she gave me the seal of approval of my lifestyle which i choose to live with meditation and lot of gratitude

as soon as i finished the book i requested my family that in case i am seriously sick, please do read this book and handle me compassionately because even though something or anything visibly damaged like Language, physical appearance or reaction of medications, my walk, my gestures i am going to be there to recover with your help and that help is nothing but a total compassion towards me and the knowledge of how to behave around a wounded person!!


 I used to wonder all the time as far as i know I am a good and compassionate person by nature and I know that very well, then why my face, my brows, my actions are visibly rigid and why I project myself that way to family and public?


This book gave me the glimpse of why I act or say something negative when I am not at all feeling like that deep inside.
she says in the book
"Regardless of the garden I have inherited, once I consciously take over the responsibility of tending my mind, I choose to nurture those circuits that I want to grow, and consciously prune back those circuits I prefer to live without. Although it is easier for me to nip a weed when it is just a sprouting bud, with determination and perseverance, even the gnarliest of vines when deprived of fuel, will eventually lose it's strength and fall to the side. Enlightenment is not a process of learning, it is a process of unlearning."



picture from http://mystrokeofinsight.com/index.html

I show this brain illustration to my 7 year old son and he just love it and couldn't stop talking about it and he said, Now i know why sometimes i feel sad and it takes time to be happy again, so amma it seems like i am not supposed to cross that bridge and go to the left side, i have to be on the right side which keeps me peaceful.
My daughter look at me and said what did you do to him? i said, i just explain to him a very important and crucial information which he never going to learn in school.

{pictures from http://mystrokeofinsight.com/index.html} text by me   

tooth less wisdom

My son finally lost his first tooth.
He is 6 years 11 months old!!
all his friends lost a lot of teeth and got them back too.
he is so sad and worried, drinking a lot of milk to grow fast so he could catch up with his friends, checking his teeth every minute in case they started wiggle.
finally a week ago the bottom tooth started wiggling and boy! he celebrated like crazy, running around the house and announcing the news to everyone!
yesterday brushing his teeth suddenly it fell in to sink, Yeh!
he lost a tooth!!!!

He said amma, if you wait and wait and wait things happen, see i lost my tooth eventually! 
i am like no wonder people say "listen to the wisdom of toothless ones".














text by ME

if i know .....




......about this earlier I wouldn't be so hard on myself being so perfectionist and make myself and my life so miserable in believing what i believed, "thinking about just me is selfish" that i used to say to myself, others approval is most important than my feelings, even though i am dying inside i have a tendency that i have to keep others safe, what an illusion i used to have! or what if i talk honestly and others think i am an arrogant or i used to be afraid that, what if they reject me!!
 the classic thing is friends and family tells the story of your life like they know you very well and you listen them like "when did i sell my life story to them and when did they decide to edit completely how ever and what ever they please"?
recently what i learned is, Any incident left you feeling bad, that incident is trying to teach you something and you have to ask yourself "what am i going to loose now" or "what am i trying to convince me right now to please or make others superior than me" and "what am i learning"?







book cover and badges are from Brene' brown's blog page
text written by ME

village girl at heart!

As soon as we bought the house I started looking for paintings close to my village roots and i found an artist who painted them flawlessly and fell in love with them. In the beginning when i saw the photos online i thought they are photos literally, but those are actually oil paintings and I was speechless by the details of the paintings.
Artist is S. Elayaraja and collection is Dravidian woman.
it's in my shopping wish list now!!

Each picture in the below bought the fond memories of my life in the village of my paternal grandma and the time i spend helping and doing chores along with her in the holidays.






The stages i went through from innocent child to adult married woman while i was there is still fresh in heart, and a big part of me for ever i guess.
If an artist can send you to memories and kept you there wondering around for a while with triggering emotions that artist is truly amazing and worth to talk about.
He is speaking your language through his art and the conversations are going on and on ......










photos are from Artist's site
text by ME

poem to stranger self



Love After Love
by Derek Walcott

The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other’s welcome,

And say, sit here, Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you

All your life, when you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.




girls Hair do


My daughter got super busy now a days.
Morning at 6:40 is the bus and i pick her up at 7:30 at night from tennis matches, home work until 10:30 average, taking bath and read a little of her favorite up to date book and 0ff to bed, and starts all over again in the morning.


i am missing her terribly, one day i felt she is living with us but she is not visible and i don't want to confuse her with my emotions  but spend quality time with her. 
kids schedules change year after year and parents must change along with them and figure it out what is best for both sides to spend time together, obviously as an adult it's parents fault if they don't figure it out not the kids.
meanwhile i stumble upon Mindy who is a mom of 5 girls and she put her hair styling talent in YouTube and i just fell in love of those hair styles and ask my daughter if i can fix her hair in the morning that little time with her is more than enough for me to interact with her.
slowing down a little and enjoy simple pleasures in life.
My daughter is a very understanding girl and said, why not! 





I am ready with my kit, i am not wasting my time running for bobby pin or hair band or spray, that creates stress rather than quality time so i am well prepared for morning hair do.
i watch the video night before ready with new style just to impress my soon to be 14 year old daughter.




 Mindy's videos are very practical because she is a mom too! and these styles doesn't take more than 5 minutes, 
and bonding with your daughter is priceless! 


A mother's treasure is her daughter.  ~Catherine Pulsifer







text by me
hair style videos are from youtube

difficult thing to achieve

There is no thought or situation that you can’t put up against inquiry. Every thought, every person, every apparent problem is here for the sake of your freedom.
Byron Katie



Break free out of your mold!!!
freedom sculpture
how true and beautiful is that
I am on the 2nd stage by the way...
that stage is having the awareness that i am stuck and making room to loosen up little and try to move to the next level. This sculpture gives the visual idea that if i try more, push myself more, keep on trying, live my life fullest every minute of it...one day i am going to be as free as that guy!
it is difficult thing to achieve.



What is the seal of attained freedom? -No longer being ashamed in front of oneself.
Friedrich Nietzsche




iSad, iInspired



perfect logo design to tribute Steve 
Jonathan mak did it spotless







Modeling Clay Cutie !!!!


 I ask my daughter two days earlier to Ganapathi Pooja, since you take pottery classes in school last year, would you make this year's Ganesha statue? 
she said well, let me try.
we went to Jo-Ann fabric and craft store to buy clay.
like all American stores we have number of choices in front of us and it's hard to choose which one suites to our task here. we are in a world where we never been before.
variety of clay for every need and purpose, tools to mold what ever your imagination is requiring for,
finally we decided after a brief debate on which size, color, type of clay we needed. 


this is over night air drying clay, so smooth, no need to bake to hardening it, no cracks after dried

I bought the Bonsai tree on the same day so i am busy re potting, by the time i finish that she came to me showing the Ganesha, i just fell in love the minute i saw the statue and the cute mouse!!
she use the beads for his eyes, necklace and kudumulu. (his favorite)
No wonder this year we celebrate Ganesha pooja with extra gratitude !!! also with plenty of his favorite food.




{photos and text by me}



keep remember!





Source: icanread.tumblr.com via Natalie on Pinterest


Perfect place

I move things in my house daily basis. arranging and rearranging until i felt this is the right place for this tree or this cup or this chair.
i bought a teeny tiny Ganesha statue in a Connecticut town called Nor-walk. I went to a neighborhood American convenient store and i saw Ganesha in a glass box, and several magnets and posters of movie actors in their outfits, they are all in a designated corner.
NTR (Telugu movie actor) and his famous roles as Rama and Krishna are the highlights in one of those magnets and posters. 
I can't believe it, NTR in American convenient store!! how did that happened, so i went to ask this middle aged white lady, her face lit and started sharing her recent adventurous trip to India and she bought the road side stuff to sell in her store. 
I told her that i wanted to purchase Ganesha statue, she is so happy that Ganesha is going to a loving family. i am so blessed and humble that he choose me.
I move him across the state, apartment to home, every corner in the house over the years and finally under the Ginseng Ficus Bonsai tree!!


I bought Bonsai several days ago from home depot, cup and saucer planter came last year and waiting for me to use it and finally all in one as a visual medley.   
perfect place for him to stay with us for ever and so peaceful to see him.




{picture taken by me}

2011 Backyard Crop

 This year backyard gardening is a little disappointing due to weather, In June i sow the seeds, right away rains started and lasted 15 days non stop.
All my seeds either soaked and spoiled, or they flushed out of the garden bed. 
I sowed again, but for a lot of Indian varieties it's too late to buy seeds :(
but still i have plenty of other choices to look forward.

2011 veggie list:

broad beans
Kentucky wonder garden bean
heirloom tomatoes
cherry tomatoes
green bell pepper
okra
chills
banana pepper
Garlic
bottle gourd 
potato
mint
spinach
beetroot 


veggie bed in July
banana pepper
bell pepper
potato

bed in mid August
 heirloom tomato, broad beans, bottle gourd, okra, bell pepper


i am happy to go to garden in the morning and exited to see what garden is going to offer for me to cook.
my tiny garden bed never send me inside without abundance of veggies.  i love to pick them, searching in the bushes, smelling, and cooking!!!!
in mid August to September end i go inside basket full of veggies :)


"When the world wearies and society fails to satisfy, There is always the garden."-- Minnie Aumonier




{ text and pictures by ME }

love it!

2011 Rethink Scholarship at Langara Call for Entries from Rethink Canada on Vimeo.






Our Beautiful Earth



maximize the screen to get the awesome view 

A Timelapse Journey with Nature: 2009-2011 from Henry Jun Wah Lee on Vimeo.


speechless !!!!







Question

my son had a doubt last night
so he ask me,
mom, when we cry, are tears fresh water or are they just like spit out of your mouth? 








US debt crisis

visual presentation

Numbers are my worst enemy. my brain simply don't except them or completely reject to even consider looking at them.
so finances, investments, wall street, banking, share market etc are completely foreign world for me.
but if you explain visually, i would be so ever happy for your efforts!
i love creativity and the creative community!

My backyard visitors

breakfast, lunch time is nature watch time for our family.
from breakfast nook window you could see veggie garden, lake, and surrounding area.
in summer we see all sorts of birds come and go as they please, when ever i get a chance i take a picture, most of the time i want to take a picture but the batteries are out. Me and kids try to identify the bird and know about them little bit.
American Goldfinch
beautiful color and tiny bird sitting on my Cosmos branch with juicy worm, when my daughter yelled for me to see this beauty i am so glad my camera is ready with batteries.

Great blue heron visits often for fish


European Starling



Turkey vulture, first i was shocked to see such a big bird in my backyard, they stayed there quit a while, roaming and checking, excited to see them!



Ruby-throated hummingbird.
it's a challenge to take a good picture, they are fast and very tiny.



Canada goose, except winter they are in the lake or backyard eating grass and chit chatting in groups.
common grackle or common raven
i couldn't figured out which one

pekin duck 


{photos taken by me}

Every day guidance


i know i am special, i don't need somebody to remind me that......
i have everything a person could dream of yet restless, don't know why? 
this book is a guide to put me in perspective. 
one article a day filled with surprises and realizations. 
Mark guides me like a soul friend.
gentle and wonderful way
great book.

stop frame animation

In summer i put kids in library activities as many as possible. 
this year my daughter (13 years old) is going for a lot of workshops, day camps, classes, and reading programs. 
i never let my kids use "boring" word at all, if they spit that word by accident and i heard that!! right away i am going to plan some crafts and they have to do something using there imagination, creativity, zeal, and enthusiasm!



 this "stop frame animation" video is from library media arts camp, it's only 24 seconds video but they spend 16 hours, 362 photos to create that! 
i am so proud of the group and the quality time they spend in the library!


Kids Summer fun list

summer is around the corner and kids already bored by the fact that summer is coming up!

Cleveland is heating up and my son turned from caramel skin color to dark chocolate in two days!!! he looks yummy but i don't want him turned charcoal by the end of the summer.

i told him you need to play in the shade, he said swing set is not in the shade, what if my skin gets dark? uh! nothing changes Ma! nothing! 

he is right but I need plan B 
I sit with my son who is graduating from kindergarten;) and ask him, what he wants to do in summer?
his face lit up and he started to think, and i took advantage of the situation and told him that he is not allowed to go out
before 6PM
he look confused, before he says anything i told him i am going to convert the basement for summer get away, you could invite your friends who wants to play and i don't have to bug you about the tanning, is that a deal? he got so excited and we started the list.

list contains indoor and outdoor fun combined.
i guide him with ideas but list is completely his not mine:)
Rule: we are not spending a lot of money, using our imagination and exploring our neighborhoods and parks and having a great time together and with friends.

1. swimming after 7 pm
2. play in the basement from 10am -6pm
3. out door fun after 7pm (be specific so when they started arguing about it we have an agreement on the paper)
4. watch movies
5. board games
6. Wii sports
7. playing Cards
8. practice Tabla
9. zoo
10. Museums
11. lake Erie shore
12. Hiking in the Cuyahoga valley National parks
13. Library Summer reading programme
14. exploring ice cream shops in the town
15. go carts in swings n things
16. chuck e cheese
17. Crocker park outdoor mall 
18. bike riding
19. practicing 1st grade curriculum
20. Ice skating
21. roller skates on side walks
22. play cricket
23. kite flying
24. baking (cookies, cake, brownies)
25. basket ball
26. making crafts (Martha)
27. movies in open air theater (Aut-o-rama)
28. exploring downtown Cleveland (lolly the trolley)
29. exploring our cute small town (Olmsted Falls)
30. bungee jump in the mall
31. face painting
32. pump it up
33. cedar point Amusement park
34. Cleveland botanical garden (amma likes it so he wants to go) 
35. great lake science center
36. Children museum of Cleveland 
37. visit Plain Dealer news paper production center
38. West side market 
(akka's favorite)
39. boat rental or jet skis
40. camping in the backyard
41. water balloon fight with friends. 
42. tug of war
43. music and dancing
44. going to the carnivals and fairs and July 4th fireworks.
45. Canada side Niagara falls 
46. African safari wild life park & put in bay island
47. having sleepovers
48. July 4th fire works in our backyard
49. watch tv now and then
50. little computer
51. white water rafting 
52. tennis classes 



list goes on and on and on and on and on ............. :)