restlessness

 "Believe nothing merely because you have been told it. Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you find to be kind, conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings -- that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide."  -- Buddha

 

While i am growing up every body used to give me suggestion that i must seek a Guru (a spiritual teacher). Yep! you guessed right, I am a very restless person inside and out. impressing me is not that easy. In India people prefer Guru for personal growth and strongly believes that every body should have a spiritual teacher. Finding Guru is the first and very critical step to personal growth. it's like planting a seed for self awareness.

A lot of people in India and around the world just take advantage and act like spiritual teachers to cash the people beliefs and very few makes you feel like you found one. it depends on what you are seeking for and how happy you feel after you get the answers or results. after all the end result matters most.

some of them are respectful and some you never know what's going on behind those closed ashram doors. some of them are plain cheaters. just like good counseling and bad counseling in western world.

I heard plenty of stories about these so- called guru's cheating scandals all my life, so i never liked the idea of orange robed, long beard, long haired person who is surrounded by thousands of hypnotized people calling him god.  i hated their cheap tricks and long speeches which never make sense at all. humbug.

A lot of intelligent and philosophical and highly respectable saints also there, but the problem is i am not too dumb or enough smart to understand their standards. i am also not looking forward any debate or anything like that with them anyway. i need results not lectures. not at this age by the way. understanding somebody's point of view and applying in our chaotic life style, is not that easy, it's a life long practice, but i want results now, so i can enjoy life NOW.

Having a husband and two kids my restlessness went to peak, my need to seek a guru is not others priority but become a mandatory, and migration from India to America makes it as emotional restlessness, so friends and family started begging to their knees and also my husbands pitiful face, my kids pity on me makes me look in to myself and realize that i have no choice but find the Guru that close to my criteria.

i take initiative and prepare a list:

• please! i don't like speeches.
• Don't create anything  from thin air, the holy ashes, holy water or Sindoor for my restless married forehead.
• Answers must be in plain understandable language to my restless, mindless questions, no gibberish or philosophical show off.  
• i read all the books on self help so don't tell me i need to calm down, show me how!!
• i am not following where ever you go (guru chasing what they call, following where ever he go, they go) i have a life and especially kids, so make my life much easier with easy tools to practice at home.
• i don't want to sit in the middle of hundreds of people chanting something which is not helping my restlessness but makes it even worse.
• It suppose to get rid of my mind chatter, even though i don't want to practice at home or i just give 10 minutes per day.

did i find any, Yes! after reading books and literature finally i trust one and put the time aside and took a class, that's a huge step for me, and now, i am still restless but with awareness. yes! you read right! i am still restless but i know why i am restless, i know how to control and be patience with awareness, and filtering all the chatter in my mind as good and bad. 
read this art of living 

                                                

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